C4C Notsocranky goes Mach 1

(CS-01 squadron patch)


After finishing BCT I was put in cadet squadron 1 (CS-01), nicknamed Mach 1. This would be my squadron for my "freshman" year. Freshmen are not called freshmen there -- my official title was C4C (cadet 4th class) Notsocranky, but I was called a 4 degree, a doolie, or just hey you! Doolies were not supposed to talk anywhere except the gym & it's surrounding fields, the academic building (Fairchild Hall) and in your dorm room. We walked on the sides of the halls, "greeting" upperclassmen, by name if they were in our squadron. (e.g. "Good Morning, Cadet Dickhead!") Outside, we greeted generically, "Good Morning Sir! First Takes Care of its own!" Again, if it was someone in our squadron, we used their name. The second part of the greeting was squadron specific and changed periodically to keep it interesting.

We had to walk on the smaller white tiled lines on the terrazzo, unless we were in formation.


In the squadron, we had many jobs. We were in charge of "calling minutes", which was a countdown of sorts to each formation. (There were at least two formations each day during the week.) We stood in the hallway, at attention, loudly announcing, "Mach 1, there are 10 minutes until the noon meal formation. The menu is: hamburgers, fries, pie. The uniform is: athletic jackets. There are 10 minutes until the noon meal formation." In between announcements, we would read something (studying) by holding it up in front of our face, still at attention. What did we study you ask? Typically, it would be our "Contrails" book that was issued during basic training.



I carried this book in my pocket at all times so the writing is worn off the cover and spine. I was responsible for knowing everything in it -- aircraft and missile inventory of the US and Soviet Union, quotes from famous generals and presidents, the Code of Conduct, poems, names of everybody in our chain of command, and many more fascinating facts! It also held many slips of paper with my required daily knowledge such as the menus of the day, or anything else I was currently being told to know. I memorized all the cadets in the squadron who held a position, or job -- e.g. Squadron Commander C1C Thomas B. Dickhead. (Yes, middle initials were required.) Looking at my Contrails book, I see I memorized 40-50 names and positions each semester. Gee, I wonder why my first year grades sucked?

Classes were mostly typical freshman courses I guess -- English, Math, P.E., History, Computer Science, Behavioral Science, and a language (I took Japanese*) Another class I took was PMS. I didn't even realize how funny this sounded until I called home:

Mom: "How are your classes?"

Me: "Not bad, but I don't like PMS"

---a brief silence ---

Mom: "What?"

Me: "PMS, I don't like the instructor."

Mom: "Is that a class dear?"

---lightbulb comes on in Notsocranky's head ---

Me: "Oh! I should say Professional Military Studies!"

From that point on, my parents and sisters liked to joke with me about PMS. I had that subject every year!

I had some trouble staying awake in class. All classed were considered military formations and therefore subject to punishment. Being late or sleeping in class could result in an academic penalty as well as a military punishment (at the instructor's discretion). We were "encouraged" to stand up in the back of the classroom if we couldn't stay awake. Math made me particularly sleepy that first year, so my grades suffered. But my favorite course that year was Engineering 110, a basic civil engineering class. After deciding to major in C.E., I needed to start "applying" myself in Math, which meant staying awake and taking notes. Somehow I pulled it off.

Computer Science also gave me some trouble.** Halfway through the semester, I was failing. Wow, I had never failed a class in my life! I was given an academic advisor who told me I should voluntarily sign up for the "How to Study" class. It would help me if I was considered for academic disenrollment later on. Yikes! As it turned out, the "study" class helped me quite a bit. One of the most useful things I learned was how to take a multiple choice test. After reading and discussing the techniques, I took an actual multiple choice test from a junior-level course I knew nothing about. I scored an above-average grade on the test! With my new study techniques and after many nights in the computer lab, I squeaked out a "C" in the class.

I learned an lot in that first semester and still had a long way to go...


*When receiving the "strategic language" briefing, the Japanese spiel mentioned a field trip downtown to a restaurant. Apparently was hungry when I signed up.

** It wasn't until many years later when I met Cranky that I started to enjoy computers.